si ce vreau sa spun acum….la moment mi-e bine nu simt durere ci doar fericire…fericirea care nu va dura mult,stiu ca voi trebui sa platesc pentru un moment de fericire cu 10 rinduri de lacrimi.jalnic si amarnic sa realizez toate acestea
privesc ochii tai adinci si tocmai ma pierd ma ratacesc pe potecile gindurilor si tainelor tale ascunse in tine.esti fantastic,esti misteric.daca am inceput sa scriu in blog despre tine inseamna ca nu esti un simplu trecator prin viata mea.inseamna ca lesi urme,amprente in viata si in suflet.Nu mai pot dormi noptile…gindurile zboara spre tine . stii ? azi priveam peste fereastra si un fulg a cazut pe buza mea-mi sa facut placut pe suflet….acesta este sarutul tau de noapte buna.Mi-e dor de tine,mi-e dor de tine asa de tare incit ma doare.si stiu ca nu vei fi al meu niciodata…niciodata al meu totalmente…si imi impun mintea si sufletul sa nu te mai primeasca-dar desigur fara rezultate…inima decide si eu trebuie doar sa plec capul si totusi sa ii multumesc penstru sentimentele puternice care m-au coplesit totalmente.
odata ,noi vom deveni istorie…vom disparea,nu vom mai face parte din prezent si mai ales din viitor.si eu nu voi mai vorbi cu tine despre sentimente si nu voi mai auzi complimente din partea ta.vom deveni doar simple cunostinte ascunzind sentimentele ce se vor risipi incet cu incet.si va disparea sentimentul de bucurie si de euforie de la simpla prezenta ta…dar pina atunci vreau la maxim sa savurez momentul ,vreau la maxim sa te savurez pe tine…vreau doar sa ma risipesc si sa ma pierd in privirea ta ,in zimbetul tau si in toata fiinta ta….
Posted on: January 20, 2010
Иногда, останавливаясь на минуту, чувствую, как больно бьёт в грудь осознание, что больше не будет так, как было. Что больше не увижу его, не услышу голоса. Что больше он не схватит меня за руку, так резко и грубо, как тогда. Не почувстствую этот открытый взгляд на себе, не замолчу, когда он спросит у меня что-то. Мне иногда кажется, что я чувствую его немного дерзкое прикосновение. С тех пор прошло много времени, и кажется, что этого и не было. Будто я видела долгий и счастливый сон, который никак не мог быть реальностью. Одеваю старую любимую одежду, которая пропитана памятью, и чувствую, что она больше не любимая. Вся память-только на фотографиях и в запахе духов.
Мне так остро не хватает той жизни.
truth hurts
Posted on: July 25, 2009
Even now i can feel the smell on my skin,its your smell…
still waitting for that miracle but it’s well known that it will not happen.because of you because of me.it even doesnt hurts cuz it was like a dream and by waking up you forget about everything.you just cant remember .
And now i just wonder how it could happen .Maybe i wanted this too much ,maybe for you it was just a game.funny now we fade away like a sand in
the wind.
so it happened we have nothing to do but to live ,you somewhere in your world-me somewhere out of your world.i’m not crying cuz i am strong cuz mybe it wasnt love just something burned me like fire and it lasted like 1 second.
what about you?what do you feel? what do you want from me ,from you …no us,there wasnt us at all.
sorry for killing you with the truth i told you but i wanted to open your deep blue eyes.i am so sorry for breaking your life and heart .in case we will never see each other again just know that i wanted the best for you.cuz you deserve this.
you are the best of me.
just let go
Posted on: July 23, 2009
i dont know why,but i feel empty-not because i dont have nothing,maybe just because i a have a lot on my mind.
this a lot is nothing just a crowd of people that just walked through my life without even leaving signs on the sand(i mean on my mind)
….It is really difficult to understand what a person really wants from you when you are in love,cuz you seem so blind.a lot of things happened at that moment it seems so amazing but as time pass ,my mind kept nothing but pain and it so sad.I just realized that nothing means more to soul like freedom and a little bit of rest.Nothing in the world could be better than to let go…let go feelings ,people ….cuz it’s better to let go than to keep going and keep believing in something that will never come true.
Memories will fade away,feelings will disappear…and your soul will be free to meet somebody new and somebody who will be better,so much better than HIM.
Ploaia a trecut…
Posted on: May 8, 2009
Welcome-my new life 🙂
Sunt asa de bucuroasa…nic nu ma ghindeam ca o sa pot zimbi din nou.Dar iata-ma aici zimbind ,plina de viata si…iar cu intimplari ce te lasa cu gura cascata…M-am maturizat spiritual,mi-am deschis ochii si cel mai principalul mi-am schimbat culoarea de la ochelari,de la roz la unul mai pamintesc…
Nimeni,nu imi mai bintuie mintea si memoria,sau ars si sperantele.Am ramas cu realitatea fata in fata si mi-am dat seama ca nu e ea asa de cruda cum ni se pare noua…probabil…ma ghindesc ca nu intelegeam toate astea daca nu ai fi fost tu,el,ea-toata lumea care ma inconjoara si toate peripetiile care mi se intimpla.
Chiar nu e asa de groaznic sa fii singura.Principalul e ca nu trebuie sa dai iar inima ta -cuiva sa o pastreze fara asigurare.O tii la tine-ai grija de ea.Poti sa te bucuri de viata pe deplin-faci ce vreai.Esti liber…
Ieri a fost ziua ,in care au murit sperantele si memoriile -realitatea mi-era martor…Stiu ca e pacata sa te bucuri de moartea cuiva.Dar chiar sunt bucuroasa ca memorii,sperante,vise-toate ieri le-am inmormintat.Straniu-nici o lacrima pe obraz,nici o parere de rau si doar un zimbet de mult uitat.
Multumesc…
Pain
Posted on: April 24, 2009
what the f..k is there to tell, had it all, lost it all, oh so many times. Got punched in the fucking face with the same lessons over and over, but u know what, im still here, still fucking standing.and i am asking myself,why?
WHAT THE F..K?! What is wrong with me?nah,i know i am beautiful…i had a “future” husband-gone…a good friend-gone.The good persons from my life-are all gone.As i am stading here crying-it hurts more and more deep inside.I think maybe is better this way,maybe is just for the moment.Maybe for this moment we think people are so goood to have them in our lifes without realizing that they dont suit our life.At the moment you lose everything and you realise the pain-it’s so hard to realise that this is only for a moment and a brighter future is waiting for you.
i suppose that the best reaction to all this pain-are tears.Cry as much as you want and need.you can even scream or even breake something 🙂 not very expensive.Do something to free the pain from your body and mind.after 3 days of crying you will feel so much better…
Memories-so damn many memories,who will tell me what to do with them?everyday i cant get rid of them and is sad.Memories kill soul.Memories just come in our minds and kill us with every moment of remembering good and bad times.My God!!!!!!!!!! why you left?why you left me? i am so lost……just tears,i have all of them.
my sweet addictions
Posted on: April 5, 2009
i am sorry,i was gone for a while…;)
So welcome back ….:))
i will not lie,saying that i am addicted to clubs,to my friends,to fun ,to candies and of course LOVE….without LOVE-i cant survive this cruel life ,without LOVE,life seems so grey.i will not talk about love very much -now cuz i think -there are people who knows better than me what is love.I dont have very much experience …but the one i have i think is enough for me 😉
I am going to the clubs almost every weekend-is a part of my life.Without clubs my life seems boring.i am not spending there a lot of money-i am the type of clubber who go to the club,to have good time and to have fun.i will never get drunk in the club and i will never make new “friends” in the club.About clubs i will have a special theme 🙂
Now-Candies…when i was a child,i got used to candies,different types of lollipops,gums and other stuff.I tried 
everything : from “Snikers” to “poppin gum”.No-i am not fat.thanks,god…i have good genes.Chocolate is also one of my favourite sweets.It can replace the feeling of love,so when i dont have love – i have my chocolate
My friends…are the best part of clubs.Cuz going to the club alone-you will look at least weird.Dont think that i keep my friends only for clubs.I have a alot of friends.I Love all of them.Everytime i have a problem or i need to talk -my friends are always there.Thanks to all of them always being there for me.
Fun…i love this word.and i love the meaning of this word is amazing.is amazing having fun:)).i think that we need to live life with fun.We need to enjoy every minute from our life.Fun is like a drug to me ;)…Fun makes me smile,makes me laugh and makes me wanna live my life .Have fun and enjoy life …
i wanna you to write your list of addictions,of sweet addictions 😉
si iar aici…iar singura fata in fata cu gindurile …acum sunt coplesita de intrebarea….de ce? de ce noi credem in ceva cu ochii inchisi ,pina la ultima rasuflare ,pina la ultima speranta,pina la ultima lacrima si ultima lovitura(nu in sens direct)?
Niciodata nu o sa imi pot explica,de ce oamenii fug de responsabilitate.De responsabilitatea care ei singuri si-o asuma la inceput.Mai mereu se intimpla ca atunci cind crezi in cineva ,acel cineva mai mereu te raneste.Dar in cineva in care nu ne dam silinta sa-i credem au mai mare dreptate si mai mult adevar. La urma raminem cu rani.Cel mai dulce si amar totodata e cuvintul “poate” care citeodata chiar il scapa pe acel ce crede ca un orb in iluzii dar in majoritatea cazurilor “poate” doboara jertfa la pamint lasind-o fara sperante si fara suflare-doar lacrimi.
Am ajuns la intrebarea : Nu trebuie sa avem incredre in nimeni? Eu spun-nu.Cea mai mare incredere trebuie sa o ai in tine.Nu in el sau in ea.Tu stii ca tu nu te poti rani ,nu te poti minti si niciodata nu te vei dezamagi.Fiind increzut in propriile forte poti fi sigur ca nu vei mai depinde de nimeni.Viata si destinul iti apartine,de ce trebuie sa iti daruiesti drepturile asupra lor-altcuiva?
- In: My own
- 2 Comments
so,here i am again…wanting to say something-just a thought.
there was a boy and a girl-nothing special,you will think.But(there is always a “but”) there was something special about them,about them being together.He had and hopefully still has his own world where he was livin alone.She was one usual girl intersted in clothes,shopping,love,pain.Their worlds weren’t supposed to meet.She was looking for the one and only ,he wasn’t looking for nothing.He was pleased with what he had-nothing.Nothing in his heart and nothing in his eyes to be loved,to be hold.But when they were together it was something special-this is how she was feeling.It wasn’t an usual relationship-it was never a relationship at all.they were calling this-friendship,it was easier for both of them.They needed nothing at all when they were together,like the whole world was only theirs.Like they knew each other for the entire life.I need to admit none of them was perfect,like all of us.He was too shy,she was too crazy.
And then something changed…not him neither she knew what happened.just something went wrong.Maybe he just felt like he dont like her anymore or maybe she was too much concerned on herself to not see and not feel his soul.They never talked about that-they just dissapeared for each other.just there was a missing piece.something disentangled their relationship and all they have done is watching theirselves slipping.And there was nothing to do about that.They have done-nothing! He was just living his usual life enjoying his friends and the freedom.She? She changed everything about her-you will say like usually girls do-I told you she was an usual girl.She told herself to never come back to old things,to old stories.she hided everything about him-no pictures of them.No words.
Now,when they accidentally see each other-they don’t look in each other’s eyes .Cuz one of them is hiding pain and one of them is hiding shame.
I have read somewhere this quote : “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together”.But i still don’t get it,why? Why they haven’t done nothing? It was something special about them being together…
Respectul de sine…
Posted on: March 28, 2009
Sunt tinara si fara obligatii si cu distractiile in singe.Dar nu si fara relatii in spatele meu nu si fara rani adinci lasate in urma lor .Ajunsa la o virsta in care unele din noi sunt casatorite sau macar cu promisiune la “bord” ….am ajuns si la concluzia ca noi fetele toate ne dorim una sa avem pe cineva pe care sa ne putem baza dar….dar sa ne si putem permite pe cineva pe linga acel “unic”.Eu una nu imi pot permite luxul sa am o relatie de lunga durata deorece doar o viata avem !!! si cred ca ar trebui sa descoperim oameni si lume noua si nu sa stam acasa si sa asteptam cind va veni prietenul sau sotul sau caz si mai rau cind ne va suna si sa “ne scoata” in lume.
De ce oare noi singure ne scriem “verdictul”,ne inchidem in casa si ne crosetam viata imprejurul “unicului el” ? Fetelor !!! Nu va opriti la unul care nu stie ce are linga dinsul.Cel mai stupid argument si cel mai des intilnit e acela : “Sunt in aceasta relatie deoarece -el ma iubeste ” ….n-am cuvinte.Cauza ca unele fete nu o sa se desparta niciodata de baiatul cu care au o relatie care abia se tirie-este frica! Frica de a ramine singurele,de parca lumea sa sfirsit la acel baiat.
Nu,nu sunt adepta a feminismului dar sunt adepta a respectului a propriei persoane.Asa ca lasati plinsul ,sunetele,rugamintile de intoarcere.Deoarece totul ce nu se face se face spre bine.Gatiti-va ,chititi-va si let’s get the party started!!! Face-ti ochi dulci,sarutati-va la urma urmei distrati-va-o – viata avem.Nu faceti o persoana centrul universului vostru cind pentru dinsu sunteti doar o optiune…
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